Eyes of white elm 

 and marks in black charcoal. 

Her tanned and taut skin, 

 a silver screen marvel.

-

The strength that I thought 

would always persist 

had lost too much hope 

for will to exist.

So when she had offered 

it troubled me so 

that loneliness spoke 

and didn't say no.

-

We butchered the night 

with blades of our silence. 

dysfunction washed filth 

with emotional violence.

And when it was over 

I packed up and flew 

for all we had done 

at once came to view.

-

Eyes of white elm, 

and nothing to trust. 

our bodies abused, 

addicted to lust.

watching the ghosts of my alternate selves

waiting for the next one to peel away a layer of consciousness

while i gaze into what the last one took

the inaction dissolves into me each time

neurons grow the wrong way, pulses wither

personality coalesces into droplets

familiar surroundings melt into mundanity

turn pearl flourescence to evaporated insanity

i'm reminded that fear is a choice that i make

and every day, i choose to be afraid