Tuesday, March 20, 2018

The mem'ries live inside my dreams
illuminating white and black
Your shapes and figures, blotted out,
the pen of time does not give back.

There are some days, my eyes go dark,
a rush of sin creeps through my blood.
the good in me was left inside
the man I was before the flood.

I try so hard to keep reminders:
the things you'd say, your endless laughter.
that life is made of little joys,
that death is but the final chapter.

So as you cross that endless sea,
returning to the other side
know that you are not forgotten
for you will always be my guide.

Monday, March 19, 2018

A sail is made to catch the air
and guide it toward our meaning's end.
We drift across the sea without
the ship we build to sail within.

In calmer waters, steady winds
we amble toward the beacon light
the stoics take their stock by day
and count their blessings through the night.

When storms kick up and waves arise
a simple choice will oft appear
to beat our chests and curse the sky
or patiently befriend the fear.

And if our journey brings us to
where water and the ether meet.
'tis better death to leave a mark
than wallow in our own defeat.

It matters not which crew to bring
which lands to claim, which hearts to win.
We drift across the sea without
the ship we build to sail within.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

The moon glows full
not knowing she glows 
brighter than the sun

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Through stumbled words and choked desires,
I call for you, o ghost of pyres.
To light this match and set ablaze
the destinies we've made a maze.

Our ropes and weaves go through and through,
the obstacles for me and you
and to this day, we never touch,
but tell ourselves it's far too much.

So light this twisted web of thoughts,
this laundry list of painful locks.
Burn them 'til they glow no more,
til' ashen white enshrouds the floor.

I'll search for you when it is done,
our molten cores conjoined as one.
And I as you, and you as me,
shall live into eternity.

Monday, March 13, 2017

The Invisible Voice

My dear orator,
your voice hangs upon the air where listening ears
are moved and shaken by what has already settled in me.

How long has it been since the beginning?
Since the time we built this city on the rocks,
and rolled the soil in lines of coke and rum
How long has it been?

You paid me a visit today
with a face that couldn't decide
whether to regret or pity me.
Instead you brought flowers and stared at my tree.

Every gesture is a wish
that life wasn't so determined to finish us all.
And I don't blame you
for what life did to me.

For I was your silent instrument,
your mirror, your machinery,
your knight in denim and a cotton hoodie.

Your dream was my dream.
and dreams only stop at death's door
to say "hello".

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

There's a special place in my heart for you
that's bigger than it really ought to be.
But there is no naysayer, no bulldozer, no act of god
that could convince me to make it smaller

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Lif Finds Kip on Pangum

I crept up to Kip's tent and rapped on the wall to see if he was awake. No response. With much hesitance, I moved to the entrance of his tent and pulled back a flap. He was sleeping deeply, his long, deep breaths filling the air with moisture. I carefully inched toward him, but in the darkness of night and untidiness of his floor, I struggled to find my footing. I tripped and caught myself, loudly. Looking up, I saw him half sit up; his face was startled and his eyes suddenly went wide, but remained beneath their translucent lids. He was still asleep.

"Hey, you're awa-"

"You're not .. go away." He stammered, still dreaming. The dark made it so we couldn't see each other so I had to use something else to wake him. I reached in my bag for a torch rock, and had almost pulled it out when he shouted again, "get out!". I caught a glimpse of his wide eyes in the light from the open flap as he jumped out of his bed and lunged at me. I tried to dodge but the tent was too narrow and he knocked me back outside. I felt a strong grasp at my left ankle, and I struggled to free myself, but he only clutched harder. He was clearly awake now and not at all himself.

"Kip, it's me," I pleaded

"You can't fool me with her voice. Who are you?!"

I reached for my torch rock again, and this time my fingers clutched it, just in time for him to pin my wrist and back.

"Who are you?" He demanded. I was speechless, my face against the soil and my arm lodged against his.

"Answer me!"

Trembling, I spoke what I could between breaths.

"It's. Me...Lif"

He paused quietly but held his grip. I felt him take my other hand and he pulled my wrists together, binding them with the same one-handed grip. He used the other to check me for weapons and found my dagger. It clung to my hip as a child as he fumbled with the scabbard until it was finally wrested from its sheath with a quiet cry of metallic glass. A shot of adrenaline filled my abdomen, making me struggle my hardest. He hesitated, and then quickly moved his arm around my torso with the dagger to my neck and his other hand still holding mine behind my back.

He said "get up" in his gravest voice and I carefully moved with the knife. Once we had stood, he rotated me to the left and we proceeded to walk silently in-step toward an outcropping with brighter light. We stopped in the center and he removed the blade from my neck.

"Who sent you?" He continued his interrogation.

"I came here on my own."

"Someone is paying you"

"What? No one is-," I blurted out but broke down.

With a big push, he released me and pushed me to a safe distance away. I stumbled but didn't dare move. The soft lowlight of the artificial night showered the tree branches and leaves with pale blue. I suddenly felt infinitesimal and numb: a speck about to vanish in a place so far from home.

"Turn around," he commanded me. I took a moment to compose myself and then did as he commanded.

"Kip. I came here on my own."


He recognized me but still had to check he wasn't hallucinating in the lowlight. He approached me with dagger in hand while rummaging in his pocket for a torch rock. He held the rock up to illuminate me and I saw his face turn from apprehension to relief to sadness. He dropped the dagger and embraced me as I released my body into his arms.

"Lif... I'm so sorry."

All I could let out was a short moan-sigh but I felt that was enough.